so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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