I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
