dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
