farters have to be the big spoon...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
