I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
