called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
