I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
