I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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