We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
