she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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