I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
