So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
