Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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