I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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