Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
