It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
