what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
