We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
