Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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