i don't like sucking hair
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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