you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
