wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
