Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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