I don't think brook has ever known best
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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