I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
