It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I want her autograph on my taint
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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