Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
