dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
