So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
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