If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
