Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
