She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
