my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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