turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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