First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
