I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
