so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
