didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
