He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
