oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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