so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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