handjob tips. give me some.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
