STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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