wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
