is your mom at the bar?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
