Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was CRYING into my vagina
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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