We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
