What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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