didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
