I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
