She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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